22 Apr this time

I have been looking back on creations of past times and my words, drawings, dances, and thoughts take on new weight in the current situation. Everything feels highlighted, magnified, too close for comfort. Life has changed, but human fears have not. I see now that fears are not just imagined scenarios, but they are real and tactile. Loneliness, death, the unknown… I know these figures well. I remember an important moment I had with my therapist a few months ago. Eyes closed, I was picturing my younger self and my therapist asked me what I’d like to tell her. I said I love you. And I realized that every dark, depressed and fearful moment I’ve experienced was a time that lacked love. So here I am at home and I find myself falling back on things I’ve always loved: writing, dancing, baking, basking in the sun, putting on a good outfit. It feels like a return, like a homecoming, but not because of my physical surroundings but because I’ve arrived in my body. This time is not one of discovery – it is of remembering. 

Contribution to Italian artist Flavia Tritto’s project Per un nuovo agire sociale / Towards new social interactions as a reflection on life during COVID-19